I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 40: Part 3

 Make sure to read  Part 1 ( Diagnosis) and Part 2 ( surgeries). 

So here we are, one full year after my diagnosis. This is going to be very raw and vulnerable and honest. If you are going through breast cancer yourself and want me to paint it as daisies and roses, you may not want to read this. 

First of all, my husband was insanely supportive. Just exactly what I needed in this time. I know he prayed for me, and not just for healing, but for whatever I was dealing with emotionally or spiritually. 

I would like to say that I shared every single detail with my church family and that I was there every single service praising the Lord for his blessings. 

I was blessed. 

They caught it early. 

It hadn't spread. 

It wasn't genetic, meaning my two daughters didn't get some breast cancer gene from me. 

I didn't have to do radiation or chemo.

I truly saw the blessings of the Lord through this situation. 

But also I was in a dark spot mentally. I was sick of getting surgeries, I was sick of going to the doctors. There were times I didn't want to go to church because I didn't want people to ask me how I was. I didn't want people to look at my with pity. I didn't want to sit through worship songs and hymns and cry. My body did not look like it once did. I didn't feel feminine or pretty. Again- just being honest here. 

I did cry most days, especially the first probably 5 months. It wasn't until about February of 2023 that I felt like I could breathe and hold my head above water. 

In fact one of my doctors suggested I try an antidepressant just to get me through the first few months. I took two doses then broke out head to toe (literally) in hives and ended up in the emergency room. So I didn't take that anymore and was hesitant to try any other medications for such. 

I had two songs that  I listened to pretty much on repeat most days. 

The first was The Goodness of God by CeCe Winans and the second was Never a Time by The Perry's. 

I did feel the presence of the Lord and his comfort. I felt his guidance and asked for wisdom on many occasions. But, I also worried a lot about the future and what my life might look like. You think a lot of things when you have a cancer diagnosis. I just wanted all the surgeries, doctor appointments, medicines etc. to be over with. I wanted my life to go back to how it was. 

If you are still reading this, bless you. It has been cathartic to write it down. I'm certainly on the other side looking back across what was a hard year. I still have my tissue expanders to deal with, and then my implant surgeries, but the cancer is out - which gives me a reason to sigh with relief. 

I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 40: Part 2

 Make sure to read yesterday's post to read about my diagnosis. 

So my husband and I went to the breast surgeon ( maybe she does other kinds of cancer surgeries too?, I'm not sure). 

She also was very kind and encouraging. 

We did a lumpectomy in early October and they removed some lymph nodes as well to make sure the cancer hadn't spread. The good news is that it hadn't. But when the surgeon called back with the pathology a few days later, they hadn't gotten all the cancer. 

I had my second lumpectomy in early November. 

They couldn't get all the cancer that time either. 

So I opted to do a mastectomy on just the right breast. There were some extenuating circumstances that didn't allow me to have them both removed at the same time. Basically a bunch of medical terms and definitions should go here, but they didn't feel comfortable doing them both at the same time. 

I wasn't going lie. I was mad at my breasts and wanted them off. Immediately. 

So I had a right mastectomy on December 15th, 2023. 

That time pathology showed all margins were clear and the cancer was gone!

I did have some trouble with it healing and retaining fluid. I had to have it drained twice which was not fun.....

I also couldn't move my right arm much farther than about my nose. So I did 6 weeks of occupational therapy- and my therapist was one of my former students! She was very professional and knowledgeable and helped me regain my range of motion in my right arm/shoulder. 

After that was all healed up I went back to get my left breast removed and to have tissue expanders placed in both breasts. This allows for my breasts to stretch so that I can get implants eventually. That happened on  August 28, 2023. 

So I'm kind of in the middle of that right now. Having my breasts heal and my tissue expanders expanding tissue. 

I will go the my plastic surgeon over the next several months to get my tissue expanders expanded and then have my implants put in. 

I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 40: Part 1

Here we are. 

My church family knows this, and of course my family and close friends do as well. But it wasn't something I shared far and wide. I have wanted to share my story. It's not pretty and at times it is pretty painful, I know some of you are walking through this with your own family and friends. Or are going through it yourself. 

This will be a multi-part post. I'll start with the diagnosis. 

I'm a healthy gal. I had three pregnancies and breastfed them all, didn't drink or smoke. Wasn't overweight. There was no family history of breast cancer in my family. Really, no cancer history at all. I made the appointment to have my mammogram just 2 days after I turned 40. I felt strong and healthy and had no clue that I would have cancer. 

I went to the first appointment. Mammogram came back with some dense breast tissue and they really couldn't see everything, so they asked me to come back to get a better one and to get a different type of scan. Did that. 

Got that call that they certainly "saw" something and that I needed to come back for a biopsy. Okay, no worries, this happens sometimes. I went. 

I got the call from the doctor on September 28th, 2022 that my spot was in fact cancer. I remember exactly where I was standing in my bedroom when the call came in. I remember what I was wearing. I remember not being able to talk to the doctor on the phone ( who by the way was very nice) because I was crying so much. So I just squeaked out a "bye" and hung up. I gave myself some time- not a lot, just a few minutes where I could breathe, think and get my thoughts together to call back. I called the doctor back and she was very nice and explanatory. She got me a quick appointment with the breast surgeon in a town about 30 minutes away. 

Update- It's been over 2 years since I've posted- So many updates

 Hello everyone, 

I am back! My blog was something that I really found enjoyable to work on for several years and then like we all know- life happened. It has happened to me in the most intense ways :) I will update you all on the main things that have happened to my family over the next few days. But today I will give you a little glimpse. Before I do that though I want to say that the purpose of the site hasn't changed nor has my overall intentions. I want a nice, slow, cozy homestead surrounded by the people that I love. So what's been going on since we last talked? 

1. I graduated. I now have my PhD and am excited and glad that is over with. I defended my dissertation in May of 2020 and officially graduated in August of 2020. 

2. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in September of 2022. It's been a HARD year. I had just turned 40 and got my mammogram as we are supposed to do when we turn 40. No family history. I'll make a whole series of post on that alone, but for now just know to get your mammogram. 

3. We bought a farm! We are still living in our "old" house and probably will keep it as it is on family land and we are close to my parents and my husband's dad. But in May of 2023 we bought a 65 acre farm about two hours away. It has a beautiful home, a barn and two shops. The family before us was homesteading on it and had to move due to health reasons. It is set up for cows, pigs, chickens etc. Again- I'll do a whole other post on that soon as well!

4. I quit my job! Well, I stopped working full time at the university I was at and now teach as an adjunct for them online. I still adjunct for several schools and do some consulting and freelance work. Financially it's more money and the flexibility is wonderful. My husband works from home as well, and two of our 3 kids do virtual school, to it is such a blessing to be here. 

5. We took a trip to Ireland this summer. This kind of came out of me turning 40 and my kids getting older and my cancer diagnosis. Life is short, memories are what we've got. Don't worry, it was paid for in cash and we had a remarkable time. Here is a sneak peak of our time there. Just beautiful. 

So, that is in a nutshell what has been happening over the past 2-2.5 years. I'm back at my blog and hope to revive it again. Please drop a comment, ask a question or just read through some of my previous posts. I hope I bring content that you appreciate and can encourage you on your own quest- no matter what that is. 

Rachel